| Welcome to Vita Van Horne's Fact Files | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Shania Herd | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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This Herd is known as the Shania Herd and can be found roaming around any area that contains food. This may be your local supermarket or even the St Gregory's college canteen. These creatures have a similar appearence to the common elephant but are extremely dangerous if deprived of food. They are easily bribed with food to participate in any form of "hard work" which would normally be carried out by an elephant. Scientists have discovered that the creatures roam mainly around the Picton, Tahmoor and Thirlmere area of Australia. The residence of these rural areas have been warned to drop all of their grocery's when shopping and run for their lives if the herd is spotted. Recently a welcome mart was forced to close down due to the herd harassing the customers and staff of this peaceful store. When the people had fled the herd would rampage the store eating all but healthy foods. Also recently Noeline Brown was defeated in politics by Peta Seaton. Noeline proclaims that Peta only won due to her false claim that she would place Shania Herd warning alarms, similar to tornado warning alarms in America, only that these alarms would warn people of the deadly herd. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Stuart | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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This Gorilla like creature is the result of experimenting with the powers of God. The Stuart was created by scientists by accident when they were trying to form "The Perfect Being" but to their suprise, a useless being was created destroying all of their hopes and ambitions. The Stuart can be found hanging around pubs with the excuse that it is waiting for the school bus or at John Terry High school terrorising it's fellow sped students. Scientists have not been able to track down the creature to it's home but believe that it lives in the gutter in menangle street in Picton of Australia. The scientists claim that when tracking the creature they were violently attacked and forced to retreat while the creature fled into hiding. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Madam Lasareene | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
This is one of the most dangerous of all cheap beings (pronounced las-er-een). This creature much like the beaver has large teeth which enable it to knaw at wood etc, but unlike the beaver, Madam Lasareene can knaw through a plate of solid steel 30cm thick in 10 seconds. | When scientists approached the creature in an attempt to take a photo of it, they were lunged at and all but one of the ten scientists were decapitated by the hideous creature thus giving us the sketch of Madam Lasareene. Scientists believe that Madam Lasareene live's at Picton, in Australia, and can also be found causing massive structural damage at St Gregory's College Campbelltown, in Australia. 
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